Thursday, December 11, 2008

Missing Katie (Warning - Depressing Post)

You think dogs will not be in Heaven?
I tell you, they will be there long before any of us...
-Robert Louis Stevenson

Today has been difficult. It has been just over a month since we let Katie go. I think I have been trying to fill the empty spot in my heart by keeping busy. I miss Katie so much sometimes if feels like my heart is going to break. It is funny how grief finds it way out, suprising you when you least expect it.

This may sound strange...I snipped locks of her hair before she left us. At the time I did it I sobbed feeling like I was stealing - doing something so terrible, that she may miss that bit of hair. Those same locks of hair have been such a comfort to me. To be able to hold them, smell them and feel them...for a moment feel Katie again & remember all the love she brought to our lives.

Katie was my 'lifetime dog'. My soulmate on a journey of discovery and change. Inextricably woven into our lives and memories.

I left her bed next to the fireplace where she last slept. None of the other dogs have used it ... until last night. I saw Ranger laying there out of the corner of my eye. It startled me. He looked up at like I caught him doing something wrong. I think each of them misses her too.

Perhaps that is the reason why Ranger has been so reticent? Maybe it isn't because of Oliver. He may just misses Katie too?

This video has been a great comfort to me over the past month. It is nice to be able to click on it at work and watch it. I can remember the sweet, wonderful times with Katie Bear. I wanted to share it with - and dedicate it to everyone who has a lost a part of their heart too.


sheepkelpie said...

I am so sorry. What a stunning beauty she was. A long life, is there really anything more than that, and the love of a wonderful master/friend? She may come back to you in strange ways- heart dogs do that. Keep your mind open, and you shall maybe see her again, until you are reunited.
Godspeed Ms Katie.

Raising Addie said...

--lots of tears, sniff, sniff--

Katie was gorgeous! I can see why you miss her from that great video. I am very sorry for your loss.

My K-8, pronounced Kate, passed on March 12, 2008. Your post today reminded me that it has been 9 months without her. It is sooo hard not to miss her and still want her with me.

Our beloved dogs steal a part of our hearts I believe so they are not lonely without us.

Staci (Addie's now sad mom)

Katy said...

I'm crying at work. (It's okay, its a gubment job. They'll think I'm just worried about the environment).

What a great dog Katie was! I'm sorry for your loss. I did the same clipping fur thing with my aussie, VB, when she was dying. I still have the box of merle fur and take it out periodically, cry into it, etc.

It gets easier. And having other dogs helps.

I hope your day brings smiles.

Raising Addie said...

I hope you are feeling a little better. Please stop by my blog. I have tagged you with a meme if you would like to participate.


BCxFour said...

Thank you guys for such wonderful comments. It means alot.

I am doing much better today! Thank you again!


Darci said...

Im feeling for ya gal. I lost my special Rose in July. Still I am not over it, dont know if I really ever will be completly. A part of me says I dont want to be, as then perhaps she wouldnt be with me as she is still now, in my heart and in my mind. She was young but had very quickly taken hold of my heart.

fulltilt said...

Those special dogs are hard to let go...

It is easy to see why you loved her so very much and I have no doubt you will see her again :-)

Samantha ~ Holly and Zac ~ said...

I am just catching up with your blog.

Katie was beautiful. She sounds like one very special girl. I do believe they stay around with us in spirit. I also know just how painful it is when they are not with us anymore. *hugs*

That was a really lovely tribute video for her.