Dog Parks...bleh...ick...nah

I know many people swear by the dog park. I used to be one of those people. I would load the pups up and off we went, chuck-it in hand - to check out the local parks.

The novelty has worn off.

I experienced an IDIOT dog owner. You know the one... (among many I am sure) ... a designer dog owner who ordered her puppy from the internet.

They show up at the local dog park, unleash their dog - ignoring while it runs around harassing everyone else, fly-by biting, stealing your toys, tackling your dog and sending is ass over tea kettle across the grass. All the while the owner is deep into the Dog Park Social Club flipping her hair & flirting with the handsome pit/cross owner (who is also completely ignoring his dog).

On this day I was walking by these "TO BE AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS IDIOT"s when out of the blue this dog suddenly streaks by my field of vision shortly followed by Bonnie yelping and squealing in pain. WTF?

I turn to see this young dog has Bonnie pinned to the ground. I shouted, waving my chuck-it like a mad woman and spraying my water bottle into the fray. The owner comes screaming over at me saying I was hurting her dog. I could only stand there and say "HUH?" Anyone with a mere morsel of a brain could see I wasn't.

I asked her in my nicest voice "Paaaah-leeze leash your dog - he was biting my dog"

She said "He is just a puppy" I looked at her with a blank look

"So?"

Then her 'puppy' jumped on Bonnie again (who was hiding behind my legs). When I tried to gently extricate him from her neck - that same so called puppy BIT ME!

I repeated "PLEASE LEASH YOUR DOG - HE IS BITING"

She said "He is only a puppy, that is how they play!"

To which I replied "Puppies from hell maybe..."

I think this is where the entire conversation veered off course...

I turned to walk away, headed to the other side of the 20 acre park away from this shrieking banshee of puppy indignation.

We played in exile - on the other side of the park with the sane dog owners who quietly played with their dogs - focusing on their dogs and not each other.

After we were tired (okay, me...I was tired - border collies never get tired) Being smart I began to leash all the dogs up. Mind you, this is not easy (four dogs + two hands = problem). Finally I have them all leashed, while I was reaching for the two I was holding in place by my foot...

Suddenly Beth takes off like a black bat from hell...dragging her leash behind her. I see her chasing this man with an Aussie, armed with a chuck-it, moving at a high rate of speed on the trail around the park.

I started screaming..."BETH!!!! COME!!!".

Beth usually has a good recall - but for some reason this day she was struck by a case of acute hearing loss (typically caused by over exposure to tennis balls & the obvious fact that we were LEAVING the park - Border Collies are smart too). *sigh*

Due to my love of food (okay, yes, I am shaped like a fat wildebeast) running can be a challenge, especially with three dogs on leashes, who are now running hither and yon, tangling up my legs. I face planted on the ground. Dusting myself off and noticing the blood dripping from my elbow, I took them off their leashes and gave chase to the freaky ball throwing man.

Please...tell me....if you were moving quickly through a dog park with one more dog than you started with, perhaps hearing a woman screaming behind you would you stop? Maybe, just for a second? Just turn around and see if the extra dog (dragging a leash) that was catching your ball and bringing it back to you ... belonged to someone else?

Would you keep moving - throwing the ball over and over again?

Then panic set in when I couldn't see them anymore! Thoughts were racing through my mind "He is going to steal Beth!" (I started to cry a little). I couldn't catch her - or HIM! "OMG WHERE IS MY DOG!"

Yes, I know...if Beth had a better recall I could have gotten her back to me. However at the moment I blamed him! I HATED HIM! He was the cause! He had the ball! DAMN HIM! (rational thought was eluding me)

I finally had to cut across the middle of the park (Only to meet IDIOT Girl and Demon Designer Puppy again) to cut this man off.

Finally I got ahead of him - I stood in the pathway and blocked his way...

In my best mother of five voice I shouted "DON'T YOU THROW THAT BALL AGAIN!" Pointing at him...daring him to move. I really wanted to wrestle him to the ground and beat him over the head with that damn chuck-it.

He stopped and looked at me like I just sprouted three heads - I am sure I looked a sight, sweating and panting like a winded fat pony

I said "DIDN'T YOU NOTICE YOU HAD AN EXTRA DOG DRAGGIN' A LEASH CHASING YOUR BALL?" *pant* *gasp* *pant* "I just ran across the park to catch her!"

Then he replied "Looked like you needed the exercise"

I really should have stayed at home...