Thursday, June 2, 2011

Gone Feral

I have been taking a bit of a blogging break, as if you didnt notice.

Actually, I kinda feel like I have gone feral.

Like most women in the throes of menopause, going feral is an understatement.

Bea in her first heat cycle...she can identify.

I am sure my husband feels like Brynn does on many days.  He comes home from work whistling a happy tune until he sees me glaring at him - then I suddenly lunge for his neck, teeth bared. 

Yep, gone feral.  The only antidote is chocolate, Cheetos Twists and Cherry Garcia. 

I went feral on my computer too.  

I started to resent blogging.  I looked at the computer with anger in my eyes, steam coming out of my ears, feeling tethered and trapped.

Really do all the people reading my blog want to read drivel?  All I write lately is crap, punctuated by nice pictures of happy dogs doing happy dog things.  

I was spiraling into a pity pot of no escape.  So I went outside and played with happy dogs dogs and grumpy sheep.

As if I wasnt feeling bad enough about my life...I put Bonnie on sheep. 

As I ran huffing and puffing around the field after the furry tank I asked myself "What the hell were you thinking?"

Actually, Bonnie is a nice little dog.  Scratch that...she ain't little.  She is built like a tank.  A furry Sherman tank. 

Bonnie is 1/4 aussie.  It is fairly evident in her working style. 

She would be a nice AHBA trial dog.  She can do an outrun, but prefers not to get more than 50 feet away from me.  She loves to work in pens, close up, and driving would be fun for her. 

However Bonnie's heart is just not in it.  Bonnie's true passion is being right at my feet.  I know this...but part of me still wants to try, hoping it will change. 

Bonnie wants me to accept her just as she is.  A wee bit Aussie. 

 And a little bit rock & roll. 

Obviously, going feral has not improved my writing ability. 

Let me tell you about the goldfinch in our backyard. 

My husband was out slinging chunks of meat over hot flames in the back yard when he hollered "Bring your camera - goldfinch in the apple tree!"

That is like screaming SALE to a group of shopaholics in withdrawl. 

I raced to the door camera in hand where .... behold .... among the lovey pink & white blossoms sat a handsome goldfinch. Washington's state bird. 

I was in photography nirvana.  The light was lovely and I had the right lens photographing my favorite little bird in the perfect setting, accenting his bright colors. 

He was so cute...then I noticed he was bloody. 

Great, something went feral on his arse....

Of all the goldfinches to land in my apple tree...this one had to have a bloody wing. Guess this is why they make photo editing software. 


Poof, blood gone. 

At least I can pretend he was healthy. 

When I went to bed that night I worried about that little goldfinch.  Was he okay?  What attacked him?  Why was he bleeding?  Was he going to make it through the night?  What if he falls dead from the tree? 

Then I started to cry. 

About a freaking GOLDFINCH!  I went through half a box of tissue, a blubbering sobbing disaster. 

Yep, I have gone feral....right into menopause. 



Karen said...

Oh boy, can I relate to this post. At least what you call 'drivel', is much more interesting than my drivel.
As much as I love your dog photos, I really enjoy your photos of other things, live or not. Keep it up!
Hope the goldfinch stays alive, I wonder if it was a cat:( And yes, I'm the owner of an inside/outside cat.
I came home yesterday evening from a rather depressing visit with my mum in the hospital, and ran up one side of my husband and down the other because he'd sort of messed up the instructions I'd left on how to finish off supper, and it wasn't even ready when I got home at 8.
Managed to get over that, figured I'd get a decent night's sleep, and head out for a good walk this morning. Tossed and turned because my son is sick, worrying about him, plus add in my sweating moments as I tossed covers off and on, and I have been awake since 4 something, and here I am....
Wanna go for a walk...?:)

Lynette said...

There are definitely times when it's just no fun being a woman! I love reading your "drivel", and I just love looking at your pictures. Dogs, birds, hoar-frost-covered fields, it doesn't matter. Don't make yourself crazy, though. Take a break, get away from it for a while. I'd rather see a post every now and then than have you burn out and quit blogging altogether!

Emma Rose said...

First off I must say that Bossie's RULE. There now, I feel better.

You don't need clever words or stories or anything. Your photographs speak for themselves. We would come here just for the pictures! Of course it is always fun to read the words too :) What I'm trying to say is that if you posted a picture and all it said was "Beth at the river" I would still be happy to follow your blog.

Emma Rose, Queen of the Bossie's

Versailles Rose said...

Oh boy. Been there and done that. Don't laugh, but I used Lydia Pinkham's Herbal Supplement Tablets for all the Menopause Madness. It honestly worked for me.

Just remember, the hotflashes and mood swings won't last forever.

I love your blog and your photos. Keep up the wonderful work!

forensicfarmgirl said...

I have religiously checked your "drivel" daily and was getting a bit worried. Glad to hear that you're still alive. Fear not! We LOVE reading your drivel. We adore your wit, and what I love most is your fearless ability to share your innermost feelings about things we are ALL going through. You are a vital component to our sanity. We are all Sister-Bitches together! We rock! We bark! Get out of our way, or we'll bite!

RYKER said...

Ahh, your photos are stunning and give me hope! Your prose makes me laugh. Feral, boy can I relate to that! Now I know why menopause is a woman thing, men would never survive it! Be strong!