Monday, September 19, 2011

Tinkle Terror

This dog has you all fooled.  

Oh, look at his cuteness hopping in and out of the stock tanks. 

He is so adorable...

There he is, in the stock tank that he is NOT supposed to be in.  

Dammit Ranger, now you are teaching Bea bad habits.  


Get out of that tank Ranger, get in the dog tank.  

That is better

Stop splashing, get out of the tank.  

You big dork, I am pissed at you.  

He may look like the best dog in the whole wide world, but let me tell you...he ISN'T. 

He is a PISSER

A Miserable Serial Pisser.  It started several months ago when Bea went into season.  He started pissing on everything.  

I had him checked for a bladder infection, you name it.  Nada, nothing wrong with him - physically.  The problem is, when Bea went out of season Ranger never stopped.  He knows what he is doing is WRONG, because he HIDES.  He sneaks around and hides his pissing.  

Tonight he pissed on my chair, WHILE I WAS IN IT!  

I am gonna kill him.  Right after we go back to basics.  When he is in the house he will be on leash, not out of my sight for a moment.  Slowly he will regain his freedom.  If that doesnt work, he is getting a belly band.  

Or, one of you can have him.  
Speak now...I just may let him go in exchange for a carpet cleaner.  

Available for Adoption:  Miserable Pisser

He comes with plenty of urine he likes to share. 

(For those of you who think I am serious, this little foot note is to let you know I AM NOT SERIOUS.  I am NOT planning on giving the Miserable Pisser up for adoption.  I may kill him with my bare hands, but I will NOT be giving him up for adoption, okay?)


BorderWars said...

At one of the first dog sport events where Dublin and I did really well, a few people actually came up to us after the event to say some nice things. This of course went right to my head and I chatted these people up for a few minutes while Dublin was growing impatient that I was ignoring him and that we weren't playing something fun.

So he decides to empty his bladder down my leg into my shoe and his aim was right on so he literally filled my shoe with my foot still in it, my gym sock acting like the perfect wick.

I could either make a scene or a joke, and so I decided to just tell the people that Dublin was obviously as happy to have me as his owner as I was to have him as my dog and that this was his affectionate way of claiming me lest one of the other dogs decided to steal me.

Then I proceeded to make the long walk back to the car, squishing the whole way there.

Dublin was very pleased with himself.

gvmama said...

HAHAHAHA I love that. A SERIAL Pisser.

gvmama said...

P.S. Your serial pisser is teaching you about observation and timing. There is nothing I abhor more than someone who let's their male dog pee on my truck tires or my generator, or my tent, etc. etc.

Laura L. said...

I don't care if you're serious or not, I'd take him!

RYKER said...

uh oh Ranger, you'd best clean up your act!
I stole a cat turd last night, put it on the carpet and rolled in mom was not to pleased with me either!
At least I didn't eat it when I was done. She hates those kind of kisses!

Totally Timmy said...

My Pip is a serial pisser..he's been to the vet TWICE for it. He has peed on me, the other dogs, anything at all outside. If he has been playing in water he will just suddenly explode all over the floor with urine. So his water play is limited.

When we play ball he has to stop at least 4 times for loooong pees. His pee also stinks..the vet said it is super concentrated so get him to drink we did and now he pees more.

He has a belly band and seems quite proud to wear long as he does not pee in the plants or on the house I'm happy. I have him use the same tree and flush it with vinegar to keep the smell down...Good Luck!!

Marnie said...

We rescued a lab/BC puppy in December. We call him the pee ninja because of all the stealth pees in the house. We'll have a couple of good weeks and the BAM, he's written a thesis in our carpet with his piddle.

I feel for you.


Erin O said...

Cloths pin.....
My guys learn from a young age not to pee on anything "man" made. I can't stand wizzy male dogs. My dogs get in corrected for compulsively marking. If I know they have emptied their bladder that's it, no more leg lifting while we are doing whatever.

Leslie said...

He's SO gorgeous!

I had a good laugh at your post but feel for you - had a male cat that used to do that - not pleasant.

Andrea said...

What a post!! Such fantastic pictures of him!! I'd take him...serial pisser and all! :) Enjoyed catching up with you here today.