I am a hoser.
I am powerless over the hose.
My life has become unmanageable...
All I can think about is the water shooting out of the end of the hose.
The way it sprays on my face.
The water up my nose.
The adrenaline, the excitement...
I am unable to control my watery desires.
The need is all consuming.
I want to become one with it.
I have lured my loved ones into this uncontrollable addiction.
Now, I see her spiral out of control, succumbing to the power of the Hose.
We are so hosed.
I have come to believe that only a power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity.
Then he shut off the water.
Till next time we are lured into its web of addictive pleasure.
Thank you, we are much cooler now.