Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Ramblings of a Disturbed Dog Person

I am struggling to find things to write about.   I think I am depressed.

Let me rephrase that.  I know I am depressed.  Being unemployed for over a year has been dragging me down a smidgen.  Although the thought of going back to work is intimidating.   I like it at home.  I like being with my dogs.  I am not looking forward to going back into corporate America and plowing a plot in Cube Farm USA.  Yet I do my required duty.  I apply for jobs daily, file my unemployment and wait...no interviews, no phone calls.  Nada.  It is depressing to be in a field that is 'in decline'. 

Then again...not leaving the house for days on end, realizing I forgot to take a shower for two days in a row is depressing too.   I am not sure I will know how to even talk to people without using "Good Boy" "Excellent!"  or "Good Job" in a sentence.  Do I even want to?

I have accepted wearing clothing covered with dog hair, and shoes stained with sheep poop.  Will my future employer understand? 

I prefer dogs

I much prefer having them pester me than a boss.

You know when you are watching a movie, and the character is making a royal arse out of himself?  So badly it is making you uncomfortable?  You just want to grab him by the shoulders and say "GET A GRIP DUDE!" or just shut off the TV?  Yep, I feel like that when I look in the mirror.

I am going to do that in this post.  

Remember my grand plans to lose weight last year... Well, I made it 5 months, lost about 30 lbs and promptly gained it all back.  Plus an additional 11 pounds that showed up out of freaking NO WHERE!

Why is chocolate so cruel?  I love it so much, and it is so vindictive.

The ultimate toxic relationship.

Pre-Menopausal Woman + Chocolate = Woman who has a stomach bigger than South America.

I am seriously thinking about starting smoking again just to lose the large tractor tire that has settled in around my middle...uh, butt, thighs, arms.  Ha! Who are we fooling?  Thighs?  They aren't thighs anymore -  they are inflated tree trunks. 

I miss Brynn and Beth.

I want them home.  I know where they are, they are in good hands, but I still feel like I am missing something.  That niggling feeling in the back of my mind that something is out of sorts.  It is the hole that has been left by their absence.    I know, I know...you are saying "Get a grip Dude".

I want a job where I can take pictures of dogs all day long.  Dogs and maybe the occasional person.  I like dog people, they are cool.  You always have something to talk to 'dog people' about.  Not like 'accounting' people.  I worked with 'accounting' people and *shudder* 'engineering' people for many years,  doG forbid...I WAS one of those people!   It  left indelible scars on my fragile psyche.

(No offense intended to accounting and engineering people reading my blog, if you are reading the ramblings of this blathering idiot - then you are my kind of peep. *insert sappy smile here*).

Did I ever share with you the story of my last boss?  I obviously don't work for that company anymore - and have no plans to ever return into that field - so I have no fear of sharing this story with you.  

Our team's beloved boss retired. Instead of hiring a well educated, funny, classy woman like her ... they hired an idiot.  Not just any kind of idiot, mind you, she was a supreme idiot.  The things that came out of her mouth on a regular basis left me unable to speak.  I always believed that it took monumental effort to be that stupid.  She proved me wrong. 

After working with our team for a couple of weeks she found out I worked in Border Collie Rescue.  In an effort to 'bond', she called me into her office and shared her personal Border Collie Rescue Story.   She told me all about the dog she adopted from PNW BC Rescue the year before.  On and on she talked about this wonderful dog.  Her daughters adored him, she adored him.  They loved him to pieces.  They were so happy together. 

The following week, things changed.  She called me into her office again.  Now she wanted me to take that same 'wonderful' dog off her hands, since it was too busy for her daughters.   Apparently her daughter was locking the dog in her bedroom all day long (and night) the poor dog had taken to relieving himself on her bed.  ('DOH)

So here I am, with a new boss and she is asking me to take her dog.  She was upset with me because I wouldn't go to her house that evening and pick him up.  I held my tongue and told her she needed to call the foster home she adopted the dog from and make arrangements to return him.  I then contacted the foster home she adopted the dog from and started the ball rolling, because I did not trust her to follow through. 

Eventually, things worked out for the dog, and he ended up in a much better home than she could provide.  I worked daily on 'forgiving' her. 

I really really really tried.  Believe me I did. 

Fast forward 4 months.

I am toiling away in my cube when Boss from H*ll (BFH) comes plops down and begins a conversation that went like this:

BFH"Oh I am sooo excited!  We are getting a new puppy!"

Stunned Carolynn:  "Really?  I thought you were too busy for a dog?"

BFH: "The girls have really grown up and they want to get a new puppy, we are getting a Vizsla!"

Freaked out Carolynn:  "A Vizsla PUPPY?  Are you out of your mind?  You thought a mature border collie was too much work? Vizsla's need as much attention and exercise as a border collie."

BFH: "We have researched the breed and are ready for the commitment. Our new puppy will arrive tomorrow!"

Pisssed off Carolynn: "Arrive?  Where are you getting him?  Did you check out the breeder? I would be happy to try and find you a Vizsla rescue from a local source, then you can meet him before you adopt him. "

BFH: "No, thanks anyway, too late!  We ordered him from Next Day Pets online.  He is coming from a reputable breeder in Missouri.  We have emailed extensively about their breeding and how they raise their puppies.  They were born in the kitchen with the family right there".  

Furious Carolynn: "A reputable breeder does not sell their puppies on the internet.  They also do not ship them sight unseen to people via email.  Please  check them out a little better, you are likely supporting a puppy mill."

Stupid Fffing BFH: "I have checked them out - they are a very good breeder, they have been prompt and professional in all the emails.   Besides I already sent my money.  We pick the puppy up tomorrow at the airport."

She knew I was passionate about rescue, she asked me about it everyday.  She returned her rescue border collie right after she was hired.  She didn't see a problem with it.  She ordered a puppy from online FROM A PUPPY MILL.  I really wanted to bash her over the head with a filing cabinet.

Over the next 6 months I was regaled with tales of the Vizsla puppy her girls were neglecting, while single Mom worked 14 hour days. I kept my mouth shut.

I left that company knowing without a doubt I never wanted to work for someone like that again.  I like dog people.  Smart dog people who don't order their dogs from Next Day Ffffing Pets.

If you can point me toward a job where I can use my camera, write, design, work with dogs & dog people, (maybe some cat, bird, cow, horse or sheep people too) I would be eternally grateful.

But please no BFH's with Vizsla puppies.  Thanks!


Jaenne said...

OMG...I "know" someone that pretty much did the same thing...adopted an Aussie (or Aussie mix) from one of the local shelters, found it a "farm home" less than a year later and ended up with a Vizsla puppy...but you know, for them it made more sense to have a Vizsla since her husband hunts and all...whatever...I haven't talked to this person in a long time...I wonder if they still have that dog...anyways...I hope you get to feeling better...please know that you always have a place to stay at whenever you come to town!

BCxFour said...

Thank you Jaenne! I am sure will be feeling much better when Brynn and Beth come home and I can get back to my normal routine of working dogs. :)

Lynn said...

I haven't worked in almost two years. I don't have any dogs. I just live vicariously through wonderful people like you with dog blogs and lovely dogs! Pizza is my best friend and my enemy. I had lost 12 lbs. about 2-1/2 years ago. Gained it all back. :( Hope I'm not depressing you more. Misery does love company. When you get Brynn and Beth back, can I come get Ranger? :) (BTW, ours is a drug-free home.)

Live Wire Agility said...

With all the amazing pictures you take have you ever thought of being a photographer for local canine sporting events? Agility/Obedience/Flyball/Herding?? Lots of smart dog people :) and you get to be your own boss!

Karen said...

I second that (the photography bit). Your photos are great. Was thinking of you today as I was skipping through the Craigslist pet forum and saw a guy with shelties in Eugene looking for a photographer. Maybe a bit far for you... but hey, maybe you could advertise a 'special price' to get a few customers to build up a portfolio? Whaddaya think?:)?

Karen said...

PS Good luck with the weight loss/chocolate issue. Says me, who on the drive home, munched a good portion of the bag of chocolate chips I bought grocery shopping :((

Emma Rose said...


Next week will be my one year "smoke free" anniversary. Everyday I am going to start smoking again because of the weight gain. I haven't yet, but I probably will. I completely understand your misery. I'm living it too, and it's more than depressing, it's devastating. Yep, it totally sucks :(
I hope your girls come home soon. I know that will make you feel better. As for the job - I would give almost anything to be able to stay home with my dogs and not go bankrupt :) Just sayin' :)

Life With Dogs said...

I have the perfect job for you: blogger. Oh crap, right - the paycheck thing!

Just think of all of the moron bosses you have been avoiding. :)

Doodles said...

I know i shouldn't have but i have to be honest and say bits of your ramble as you put it made me giggle expecially the dog hair part i have one border collie and i know how covered i get so much so i have taken to have inside clothes and out side ones the Out side ones get flung on 5 minutes before i leave the house and still i am walking out the door removing slobbers and hairs , Wouldn't have it any other way love my collie and his kisses. Good luck on the job front. Here in Scotland things are just as bad.
keep writing because your blogging friends are never too far awa to send you a cyber hug and smile in the hope it helps brighten your day. Hugs Sharon and Licks from Ben the collie x

Greenhill Farm said...

'Good Job' here in NI is said all of the time! Even I say it to my dad and he says it to me.

I know of a job you might be interested in. I found out there was such a job when I was looking through a dairy farming magazine (boredom does strange strange things).

Anyway, there is such a thing as a show photographer. They go to people who show their animals and take photos of them for the owners, then sell them to a newspaper or magazine if the animal wins.

In the case I saw it was cows. There were about ten adverts of people taking photographs of prize dairy cows.

It's not that the job is limited to dairy cows, any animal would do. It would let you experiment with lots of animals.

One of my friends rides at shows and a photographer comes along with his own stand and takes pictures of all of the competitors. Then you have the choice of buying your own pictures.

Hope that helps,

Kamie said...

I understand on the jobless thing! I worked for a BFH who got a super drivey GSD puppy. The thing is, she was a groomer and trainer! She should have known better. I left shortly after that and now I see her with that puppy (Dog now) and he is WILD. Oh well, Good Luck with your job search. I second (third, fourth fifth?) Photography. You take GREAT pictures.

MTWaggin said...

This post rang so true and close to me that it is scarey! I think all of us "dog folk" have met people like this and your reactions are SO honest and exactly what we feel. Thanks for writing it!


Debra Kay said...

I am in the same place you are-well, I'm in Oklahoma, but mentally. Hang in there. I wish I had better advice, but I don't-just hang in there. And keep posting pictures....I love them.

BCxFour said...

You guys are all so awesome. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your comments and emails. It really helps to know that I am not alone in so many of my thoughts and feelings.

About professional photography. I eventually would like to end up doing this professionally. But I have so much more to learn...and don't think I am at a point that I could offer a client a consistent product...yet. Then there is the $$ side of things...Sadly I dont think I am good enough to make enough money to be able to do it full time. But I am certainly checking into it!

Tink said...

I think if Ranger is to leave we should hold a raffle, I thought, delusional as I am, that I was the only one who wanted him but there are too many darned people who want him although no one likes him as much as I do of course, well except for Carolynn maybe. ;-)

Carolynn dear, do you think you could photograph houses? Inside and out? A Dutch friend had photography as a hobby as well and also a dog person(Beardies) she was thinking what job to create and has started a business photographing real estate. Real Estate agents need nice looking brochures/flyers with their homes for sale and photos for online etc. inside and out and they often do not have the skills to do that themselves.

Her business is a success and it has really taken off. She created a portfolio, flyers and business cards and went to real estate agents to talk about what she did. She immediately got orders and doesn't stick to real estate but also does pet photography and went to vet clinics to leave her card.
Here is her web site, http://europhotographics.com/
maybe an idea? You do take stunning pics. Start by taking unusual pics of dogs and sell them. I would rather have a photo in action of my dog than a posed one. Just go for it! I'm sure you could do it. You can even combine it with sheep herding. Take professional pics at a trial and sell them.

i was some time ago at an agility thing and there also was a photographer asking if you would like professional photos of your dog. if you want to you can make money with it.

Anonymous said...

I don't know about being an agility photographer... Joe Camp who does a lot of agility photos seems to spend a lot of $$ on lens that look like telescopes:) I do make a "camera payment" at every trial he's at and buy hard copies as well as a CD of pictures.

I hear ya about the retarded boss. How frustrating. Gives us single mom's with kids who want to adopt a dog a bad name!