Monday, June 22, 2009

A Little Hope

I hate trying to lose weight. Who ever said that it takes 15 days to make a new habit never had to get over an addiction to chocolate. And tell me what is point of living without ice cream? I am so sick of leafy green veggies, fish and low fat crapola that I could scream. This week I am finally on the phase of my so called 'food lifestyle change' that allows me to eat 2000 calories a day for the next 6 days.

Uhmm...How many calories are in a banana split? Anyone, Anyone...Bueller?

Have you ever seen those retarded commercials about the misguided idiots who are going on and on about eating all these delicious desserts such as Boston Cream Pie, Key Lime Pie, Apple Turnovers etc, then they flash on the low fat yogurt in those same flavors? Let me tell you - it is one BIG FAT STINKING LIE! Okay, maybe the Key Lime Pie tastes pretty good - but I still feel robbed when I eat one.

Needless to say I have stayed steady at approx 20-25 lb loss right now. Which I guess is pretty good for one month. Perhaps too much? It keeps fluctuating from 20 to 25 lbs on any given day. From what my nutritionist said it is to be expected at this stage with all the strength training building muscle & weighs more...blah blah blah. I am not disappearing fast enough to suit me. I can expect to lose a minimum of 10 lbs a month on my current program. If I do that I can lose 120 in a year. Sounds good to me...but I just need to make it past that damn banana split calling my name.

The only place I don't dream of stuffing my face with ice creamy goodness is at Fido's communing with sheep and dogs. It is a good thing...albeit hot, sweaty, dirty, dusty, sometimes stinky good thing.

Bonnie has been coming along fabulously. So fab that I had to make three trips to Fido's last week alone. We are starting Bonnie on small outruns (20-25 yards).

Bonnie loves it

She has been doing pretty good staying back and giving plenty of room, lifting the sheep nicely most of the time.

She has been learning to read the sheep better.

When I walk about I change directions quickly and often. She naturally comes into balance each time.

Bonnie is respectful of my flag, but isn't freaking out about it like she did in Idaho.

She is giving me space on walk abouts and I don't have to run backward (thank Gawd) anymore to keep pressure on or to make sure she behaves.

I am able to walk comfortably without the sheep running me over (most of the time).

The more she is on the sheep, the more intense she has been getting. Her head is dropping lower and lower, and she has really started a creep.

She gives me lie downs, although sometimes they are difficult to get because she doesn't want to stop.

Sometimes Bonnie does try to cut in closely. Here she was up to her old tricks and tried to cut into my space.

I went after her with my flag. She understood quite quickly to back off. Before she would have quit - not now.

She backs off nicely and remains engaged. Taking pressure better each time.

What a good girl

I talked to the vet and he gave me the green light to let Beth work as long as we never got above a easy trot or walk. So we worked on driving some more.

I seemed to have reached the point where I can see what our problems are and know I need more help. (DIANNE - I need to come back to Idaho!) Beth doesn't want to take directional signals and I am unable to progress.

I was watching an Aled Owen video today when it hit me, Beth may not be taking my directional commands because she may not know what the words actually mean. When I send her on outruns I have always set her up on the side she is going to go on - I believe she has taken the cue for the direction from my body language and position rather than the words 'go-by' or 'away'. We need to do some work on that BEFORE we can move forward with driving. Maybe I will take this opportunity to begin her on the whistle too. (Suggestions???)

Beth has been moving further and further ahead of me confidently. She does occasionally look back to me for direction and that concerns me.

We move around the field quite a bit, through obstacles and other things to keep it real.

Here she started putting too much pressure on them and they split. She downed and looked back at me and gave me a look that said "So, brilliant one, what now?"

Doesn't her big shaved patch look awful? She has been fussing at it and managed to pull out two stitches. So now she has to wear a tee shirt backwards in the house. Her rear legs go through the arms and her tail through the neck. I keep it on her lower half by wrapping an ace bandage around her tummy. She is none to pleased with me every time I stuff her into it but it covers up her wound and keeps her from irritating it more.

Here Beth is packing the sheep up against John (who is taking the pictures). She turned them around him and brought them back to me down field.

At times I am overwhelmed with the "WHAT AM I DOING" thoughts and feelings. Self doubt works its way into my brain and seizes what little confidence I have. I look at my dog and myself and question everything I have learned. I allow worry to permeate my brain - overtaking my self esteem & leaving me feeling little, stupid and small in mind - really making me want to dive head first into a 1/2 gallon of Cherry Garcia.

I get so focused on my dog and what I am doing wrong that I forget to look up...

There are sights like this God puts in your day that send a message of peace and hope where you least expect it.

Maybe life isn't as hard as I make it out to be. I am grateful for what I have. My wonderful husband, my children, family and of course our dogs. Key Lime yogurt, green leafy vegetables, fish and low fat cheese too. I am truly blessed....

But I still want that banana split


Gennasus said...

Keep at it! You and the dogs are doing so well.

I've never tried the flavours you mentioned but I do like yoghurt. It doesn't beat a banana split though.....nor chocolate! Why is all the nicest stuff bad for you?

Love that last photo.

sheepkelpie said...

You look great!!!! Dogs are doing well- it's the journey my friend, not the destination. When Beth looks back at you, do not look her, simply keep walking forward, and tell her to walk. She just needs reassurance, and she gets it when you do that :)

Raising Addie said...

Congratulations on your weight loss!!! That is a wonderful accomplishment in only 1 month!!

When my husband and I are dieting, we have one cheat meal on Saturdays. We don't go crazy on the meal but it gives us a well needed break from the tasteless diet foods that I tire of very quickly. You could do a cheat desert one time a week. At one point Sonic had a mini banana split which would be perfect for your yummy desert fix!

Keep up the great work! LOVE love love those pix with the rainbow. I'm right there with your line of thinking... sometimes we make things so much more difficult than they really are. We all should stop and smell the roses more often!

Good Job Bonnie!


Life With Dogs said...

What a great note to end on! It was great to see the dog working under a rainbow. Shot of a lifetime.

By the way, 20-25 pounds in a month is amazing!

EllieC said...

Great job! 20-25 lbs is a big deal!!!

Sounds like Bonnie is doing fabulous. I'd love to see her work again sometime. You DO need to come back to Idaho :)

Amy said...

I just love reading your blog. I think you are amazing, a true inspiration! If only I had a place to take Arthur more regularly to work on herding. Thanks so much for sharing with your readers!

PoochesForPeace said...

Holy crapola i cant believe you've lost that much already! I know if it were me one banana split would lead to one everday, so you just have to know what you can do yourself without falling out of your good routine :)