Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Bathroom Woes

My dogs act like naughty children when I leave the room. Brynn has been learning their nefarious ways.

There are small windows in my day where I need to leave the room and go to the loo. Most days it looks like this...

Do you have this problem too?

Apparently they are afraid I will disappear, sucked down by loo by the Porcelain God of TP never to be seen again.

Reminds me of when my kids were little and I would dare to close the door to the bathroom for a few moments of 'me time'. After a few short minutes I would see their chubby little fingers poking under the door and hear their pathetic wails of "Mommy are you ever coming out?"

Thankfully, if they were at the door annoying you - they were safe. It is periods of complete silence when you need to worry.

Like the time I took a shower assuming my husband was watching our boys. When I got out of the shower I opened the door and peered down the hall, listening for any signs of trouble. Then I see dad sound asleep on the couch and the house was completely silent. (What is wrong with men anyway?) I shrieked at him "WHERE ARE THE BOYS?!?!" He replied with "Dont know, I'm sleeping" (reason #367 why he is now my ex-idiot).

My built in Mommy Radar was pinging loudly warning me the boys were out of range. Crap! Given the lack of any noise (beyond my ex-husband's snoring) I knew they were not even in the house! Double Crap! So I went racing down the hall buck naked, dripping water, trailing a towel behind me, determined to find my two and four year old sons.

Lo and Behold - I found them. Dancing in a mud puddle in the street. One wearing nothing but a diaper sporting a pink bicycle helmet on his head. The other bare-arse naked (like me) waving his sister's Barbie umbrella around like Mary Poppins on crack. Complete unbridled joy on their faces.

We lived in Army housing on Fort Lewis so they were relatively safe in the street, not like they were playing on the freeway, but still worrisome.

My neighbor had just gotten off duty. He was still sitting in his car - parked in the driveway across the street. I waved to him and pointed at the boys, gesturing wildly, hoping he would round them up and bring them to the house. He was laughing so hard I could see the car shaking. I knew he was going to be no help.

So I wrapped the towel around me, then pranced into the street where I grabbed one boy in each hand. Half way up the driveway my towel fell off. Behind me I heard the gales of laughter erupting from the car. I kept walking with as much dignity as I could summon right in the door. I left the towel where it fell.

My neighbor never let me forget it...I was so relieved when they moved to Kansas.

Then there was the time I found the boys getting ready to jump off the roof of the garage with bed sheets - thinking they would work like parachutes.

Gawd, how did I live this long without having a heart attack?

I digress...

Like my kids the dogs get into mischief if I close the door. Pernicious little brats.

Yesterday was no different.

Right before I flushed I heard things being moved around on my desk, then water splashing...followed by the sound of objects falling on the floor.

I quickly wrapped up my business and ran to my office.

And saw Brynn on my painting table, her face in my brush rinse bucket, which was now empty - because it was splashed all over the desk.

Obviously Brynn learned how to jump on my desk. She hops on the chair, then hops on the computer desk and walks right over to my sewing table where I have been keeping the toys I am mending.

She helped herself to a few of her favorites and then made herself comfortable on one of the sketches for a design I am working on.

Sure Brynn, no problem, I don't mind your wet paws & slobber all over my sketch.

How can you get angry at this face?

"Oh hiya mom, I'z so kute"

Oh yeah Brynn, thank goodness you are too cute to strangle, now that I see the brushes you were chewing on.


I just had to have border collies. Are five kids in this family not enough misery for a lifetime?

But you have got to love 'em too


Emma Rose said...

That was a great story! So funny! The Duchess has a painting studio too, but she can't draw. You are a real artist!

And you're lucky to have so many BC's. The Duchess drools over the PNWBCR website almost everyday. She has promised to get me a playmate someday. Bear is the only other dog here and he's old and boring!

Mason Dixie said...

What a great story, i can not believe your neighbor did not even help you!! I could not be mad either at a face like that. =)

Nicki said...

Great post. I also have a fan club at the bathroom, or anywhere I go. It's just me and the hubby though so we never shut doors-I can keep an eye on them that way!

Ann said...

As I was reading your post, two dogs disappeared and got silent, then I started hearing bad sounds. . .to get up and investigate meant leaving a half eaten breakfast burrito under the watchful eye of my most hungry Samoyed. . .what to do?!

PoochesForPeace said...

Oh.heck.no. Chewing on brushes is a crime! Hehehe, very cute post.

EllieC said...

Hi Carolynn,

Were you serious about putting Marley on the BC Rescue site? I'd really like to get that ball rolling if possible...


An English Shepherd said...

Yes we follow the boss around as well and rush into the bathroom at the wrong time ;-)

Wizz :-)

Suzuki said...

My Mummy was laughin g so much she was leaking :)
Big licks to you