Queen Fisher

"THROW SOMETHING!"  Bonnie screams

Sorry Bonnie, we don't play with balls anymore.  At least not when we have the puppy with us.  She tries to chase you & may get hurt.  

"I don't care, if I stare at Dad long enough a ball might suddenly appear."

Nope, sorry....we are not going to throw anything. 

 

 "Since you wont play with me, I am going fishing ALONE."
 

 

"Fishing? Can I go too?"

 

"Where's the fish?"

"Bea you have to do this."

"And then .....mlbtwp gurgle gurgle  gurgle guuuurrrglllle..."

"I GOT ONE!"
 

"It is HUGE!"

"Aauggghhh water in myyyyy eaaaaarrrrssssss!"

"Where's my fish?  IT ESCAPED!"

"Got another one!"
 

"No stick fish can get away from me!"
 

"Don't mess with this stick fisher collie."

"UGH!  Gotta get the water outta my ears!"

"I saw you eye-balling my stick-fish.  Don't even think about it!"

"I can see you watching me Miss Bea, the favorite puppy."

"Covet my stick all you want, but you aren't getting your teeth on it!"

"I don't want your stupid ole stick fish."

"Scary Bonnie, a big fat hag, can't fit her head in a kibble bag"

"What did you say?"

"Nuttin...I said nuttin."

 

 

 

"Can we go home now?"

Don't worry Beaster.  Bonnie only looks scary, she is too fat to catch you. 

"Listen Camera Face, are you seriously calling me fat?  Yo, lard butt... my body mass index is significantly lower than yours, thus, your hind end is a much larger target for my teeth."

 

*Sigh*

(No sticks, fish, lard butts or puppies were hard during the making of this blog post). 

Hank & Bea

Bea met a new boy from back east last week. 

 

His name is Hank and he lives with Erin from Whistle Pig Place

Bea was not impressed.

"Leave me alone you clumsy woolly bear!"

"Awww come on!  You wanna play with me!  I am FUN!"

"Look what I can do!"

"Play with me!  PLEASE!"

"You are pretty.  Your ears smell good - is that sheep poop?"

"Hey!  Come BACK!  I didnt mean to hurt your feelings!"

"Leave me ALONE!  I dont play with BOYS!!!!"

"I will play with you if you can catch me!"

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!  Gotcha!"

"No you dont!  I will bite your nose!"

"Beware of Flying DOG!"

"What is that?  Are you having a seizure?"

"I AM NINJA PUPPY!"

"Ninja puppy meet my teeth!"

"Ninja Puppy STRIKES a blow!!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  And she goes down!"

"I am NOT playing with you anymore!  JERK!"

 "I am sowwwy"

 "I didnt mean to scare you.  Forgive me paweeeze?"

 (In honor of the upcomingValentines day I overlayed a pretty multi-colored bokeh texture...in case you are wondering.)

 

"Okay! Come and get me!"

"Oh, maybe not!"

"Changed my mind!  GET OFF ME YOU FREAKAZOID!"

"I dont think she wants to play with me anymore..."

"Bea rules, Hank's a fool!"

"You just wait, Miss snotty Bea.  One day you will think I am pretty cool and then I will ignore you!"

The preceding lame text & crazy post processing can be blamed on the 24 oz Chelada I just finished guzzling.  Yummmo. 

Scary Shrieker

Dianne was here this last weekend, teaching private lessons on Friday & Sunday.  She judged the Rocky Ewe trial in Roy on Saturday. 

She always brings with her a hefty dose of humility. 

I bring the humiliation all by myself. 

My poor dogs would like to beat me with crook.  I am sure Dianne has thought about employing that method of instruction a time or two as well.  Death by herding instructor; my guess it would be a bludgeoning.  Well deserved I am sure. 

I have not been working Beth much lately.  When I do work her, it is for chores & close up work only.  The work she has done with me I insist on her doing it correctly with very little pressure.  On Thursday I worked her with Dianne, it was like I had a new dog.   I thought it was because Dianne was on the field & Beth was scared of her.  Beth has a history of acting like the perfect little angel with a instructor (Patrick, Karen Child or Scott Glen) on the field - then later with me morphs into a ripping wool shredding freak of nature.  With Dianne, Beth did everything I asked.  We had this magical herding vibe going on. She even did inside flanks without looking like she was being drug through a  fiery pit of hell. 

Dianne told me it was beautiful.  There was nothing she had to say, my handling had improved with her, my timing was pert near perfect.  Words I never thought I would hear.  I smiled with joy.  Then remembered our session with Brynn earlier - that brought me back to earth - like a lead balloon. 

A few weeks ago I wrote that I was done trialing Beth.  She has gone as far as she will go and it just wasnt worth the frustration.  I lied.  The truth is, I signed her up for the trial last weekend so John could run her - because I had given up on her.  Alas, John told me his heart wasn't into working the dogs and he had to work - he volunteered for overtime at work - sending a strong message to me I did not miss.   That poor misguided man, choosing to work and make money over working dogs on sheep?  I just don't get it, but I am happy he is making the money for me to spend. 

Where was I?  Oh yeah...the trial. 

Anyone who has seen me run a dog at a trial knows it will go in one of two directions.  Calm, cool, quiet and nice.  Or a sniveling, screaming, shrieking freak of nature. 

Hi, my name is Carolynn...I am a Bi-Polar Handler.   

When I am calm, cool, quiet and nice - we have a nice run.  I am happy, my dog is happy.  All is right in the world even if we completely sucked. 

When I am a sniveling, shrieking freak of nature - my dog runs like crap,  I feel like crap and our scores are crap.  When our scores are not crap I am ashamed and feel like my crappy handling didn't deserve a decent score and want to crawl into my crap filled hole.   A self fulfilling crappy prophecy. 


I feel like I am finally learning how to find a spot somewhere in the middle. 

On Saturday when I ran Brynn in Ranch, it was better than in the past.  I am learning why I fall apart when I am running her.  She is a lot of dog.  She is FAST, strong and very very very good and I am scared to death of her.  My mind does not move as fast as she does.  Things go wrong on the outrun, I fall back on corrections that did not work in training.  On the drive I give her the wrong flank, she takes it and I start yelling "NO".  She tries harder, runs faster, trying to please me...I get more and more frantic.  Things deteriorate and I feel dumber and dumber.  I want to die.  I telegraph every one of these emotions to my dog through my voice, the timber of my commands, my escalating shrieks.  Brynn placed 8th in the class. 

On Saturday when I ran Beth in the Ranch class, things were calm, cool, and fun.  She listened to every command I gave her. She ran happily, effortlessly and I felt confident & relaxed.  With that run we got 3rd place in the ranch class.  I was very happy! 

On Sunday during a lesson Dianne pointed out to me that I shriek & bark commands at Brynn.  It went like this...

Me:  "Away"
DD:  "Why are you barking that at her, try it again."
Me:  "Awaaaay."
DD:   Ouch, that sounds like a correction.  Try not to make it so harsh. Use your whistle. 
Me:   Whistling Away.
DD:  What was that?
Me:  My away whistle
DD:  Try it again
ME:  Whistle Away
DD:  "She is right there, there is no need to make her ears bleed". 
Me:   Verbal"Awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy"
DD:  That is giving me a head ache - can you imagine how she feels?
Me:  verbal, softer Aaaaawayyyyyyyy
DD:  Wow, that just told her to give you a BIG away flank...if you want a short one, shorten it up a bit.
Me:  Away!
DD:  Barking again!  The command needs to be monotone, soft.  The corrections are harsh, not the flanks. Try it again
Me:  Away
DD:  No
Me:  I can't hear myself...I am trying! 
DD:  try harder
Me:  Away
DD:  NO!
Me:  Does it really sound that bad?
DD:  YES! You sound really angry!
Me:  I am not angry!
DD:  You are scaring ME!
Me:  I dont mean to!
DD:  Try it again, this time SOFTER!
Me:  Aaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy (sing song)
DD: There you go..see her take that flank....now correct her she sliced it...get after her.
Me:  Brynn!  You get out of that!  (with requisite scottish accent)
DD: Better! Give her a flank again, but don't take the tone from the correction into the command
Me:  Away...
DD:  You are Barking Again!  Lighten up!  Think of the way you say "Come Bye"  you say that so nicely...say Away the same way.
Me:  I can't
DD: Say it
Me;  I am too fat
DD:  *Sigh* Say it !
Me:  softly, nicely....Away
DD:  See!  Look at that flank!  The commands need to be monotone, soft and reassuring.  Do not shriek your flanks - you can shriek your correction, but then it is OVER.  Dont bring the correction into the command. 
Me:  I am stupid
DD: She will work for you regardless. 

The gist of it.  Brynn scares me.  I still have not gotten through my head that I do not need to control her every move on the field.  I need to make my corrections count, leave anger out of it.  When the correction is done, drop it.  Move on.  Make the command inviting - not a demand.  I need to remember that my dog wants to please me & I need to give her the correct information so she can do that...instead of turning it into a fight. 

I asked Dianne why she thought I did so much better with Beth.  "You didn't have any expectations.   You had given up on her.  You went out there relaxed & not expecting anything."

She was 100% right.  Whatever Beth gave me I was going to be happy with.  I didnt have any preconceived expectations.  With Brynn, I did.  My insecurities (ego) led the way.

Yep a humbling journey this is...but so addicting.

Hi my name is Carolynn, I am a recovering bi-polar masochistic handler.  It is nice to meet you!

Water Bea & the Eagle

We are back to splitting the dogs up for runs & walks because Bea has decided herding the other dogs is fun.  It is entertaining to watch, cute to photograph...but a bad habit I need to prevent from being permanently established.  Time to nip it in the bud now.  

That means - no more pictures of Bea doing this.  Not until she meets sheep.

I also need to prevent Bea from being hit by the other dogs.  Ranger is a careless oaf and regularly slams into dogs that get in his way.  Bonnie, means well, but is a maniac.  Beth only sees the ball, or whatever else she is determined to chase.  I have risked too much allowing Bea to be on the ground while they are playing.  

It is Bea & Brynn from here on out. 

"YES!  No more sharing the ball!" 

Uh, no...sorry Brynn.  No more ball either.  

"That seriously sucks."

I am sorry Brynn, but when you chase the ball, Bea chases you.  Instead we will have nice liesurely walks where Camera Face actually has walk.  Standing in one place using a chuck-it does not encourage Camera Face to get exercise.  This is a win/win for all of us!  

"You are really going to...like....WALK?"

  

It is time to introduce little Miss Bea to the river! 

"What's a river?"

Bea, you are standing in the Carbon River right now. 

"Oooohhhh water!"

"It is like a giant water bowl I can empty!"

Splash splash splash

Don't go too deep! I dont want to fish you out of the bay.  

Delightful water teeming with unfamiliar scents

"What's that?"

Uh oh!  Bea....Brynn, come here!  Stay close.  

That is a juvenile bald eagle.  He is just beginning to get his white head and he is watching us! 

"Hello Bea.  If you were smaller I might consider you for my next meal.".  

"Does he want to eat me?"

No, he doesn't.  There are plenty of fish in the river & other small furry animals like Chihuahua's and kitty cats for him to eat.

"Eagles don't eat border collie puppies?"

Only the naughty ones.  

"I am a good puppy."

Yes, you are.  The best puppy in the whole world.