Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Integration

Emotional scars are the hardest to heal.  Multifaceted wounds to the very core of the soul.  Complicated and often invisible.

My voyage to emotional health has been a long one.  PTSD has a way of eroding the foundation of your psyche, combined with self blame, guilt and fear it is a challenge to figure out what emotion is causing a reaction.

Through the course of therapy I have been learning how to unleash the healing power within myself.  Understanding to recognize and experience peace, contentment and joy, hopefully will lead me to living a full, rich life free from the fear that has hobbled me in the past.

Spirituality is an integral part of the healing process.  I believe in G_d.  Organized religion is another story.  There, I am on shaky ground.  I have a difficult time believing in something that is interpreted by man.  Leaps of faith are not my strong point.

I choose to believe in something I can see, feel and know in the depth of my heart, is real. The kindness of animals.  Simplicity of life reflected in their eyes. 



The feel of the wind in my hair, soft rain on my face, the warmth of the sun on my skin.



Looking into the eyes of a dog, full of trust, brings me to my knees in thankful joy.



I believe that G_d puts us on a path, once we stop fighting against where 'he' directs.  The small quiet voice in our heart is the one that will guide us true.

I have been letting it guide me for the first time in my life.  I rather like the results. 


A new path in life.  Just following my heart, and sheep, and dogs...and....who knows what is next, but it is sure to be fun! 







7 comments:

Laura L. said...

You're a smart lady. : )

Rama's Mama said...

A wonderful, inspiring post. And such gorgeous pictures. Do you mind if I ask you what kind of camera you have? http://raisingrama.blogspot.com/

Versailles Rose said...

I've had furballs as companions all my life. I've spent more years in the company of kitties and pups than without. The older I get the more certain that the English spelling of dog is correct, because backwards it spells God.

Lynn said...

Okay, I can be a little slow. Can you tell me why you don't spell out "God"? Is it a personal reason or an internet formatting reason? Thanks for your patience. :)

BCxFour said...

Lynn, this might answer your question. Thanks for asking!

http://judaism.about.com/od/judaismbasics/a/Why-Do-Some-Jews-Spell-God-G-D.htm

I do not write G_d's name in a place where it could be discarded or erased. Treating G_d's name with reverence is a way to give respect to G_d.

Donna Marsh said...

You are so blessed to be able to spend so much of your time outdoors, on a farm, with sheep and dogs. Basically, in God's open air cathedral. Jealous : )

Wingfall at dusk said...

I can so relate to much of this. Penny (our collie) has been as much my spiritual guide (or perhaps, travelling companion) as anything else. There is so much in the natural world that makes me strongly suspect that G_d is not so anthrocentric as many of us would like to believe.