Dianne was here this last weekend, teaching private lessons on Friday & Sunday. She judged the Rocky Ewe trial in Roy on Saturday.
She always brings with her a hefty dose of humility.
I bring the humiliation all by myself.
My poor dogs would like to beat me with crook. I am sure Dianne has thought about employing that method of instruction a time or two as well. Death by herding instructor; my guess it would be a bludgeoning. Well deserved I am sure.
I have not been working Beth much lately. When I do work her, it is for chores & close up work only. The work she has done with me I insist on her doing it correctly with very little pressure. On Thursday I worked her with Dianne, it was like I had a new dog. I thought it was because Dianne was on the field & Beth was scared of her. Beth has a history of acting like the perfect little angel with a instructor (Patrick, Karen Child or Scott Glen) on the field - then later with me morphs into a ripping wool shredding freak of nature. With Dianne, Beth did everything I asked. We had this magical herding vibe going on. She even did inside flanks without looking like she was being drug through a fiery pit of hell.
Dianne told me it was beautiful. There was nothing she had to say, my handling had improved with her, my timing was pert near perfect. Words I never thought I would hear. I smiled with joy. Then remembered our session with Brynn earlier - that brought me back to earth - like a lead balloon.
A few weeks ago I wrote that I was done trialing Beth. She has gone as far as she will go and it just wasnt worth the frustration. I lied. The truth is, I signed her up for the trial last weekend so John could run her - because I had given up on her. Alas, John told me his heart wasn't into working the dogs and he had to work - he volunteered for overtime at work - sending a strong message to me I did not miss. That poor misguided man, choosing to work and make money over working dogs on sheep? I just don't get it, but I am happy he is making the money for me to spend.
Where was I? Oh yeah...the trial.
Anyone who has seen me run a dog at a trial knows it will go in one of two directions. Calm, cool, quiet and nice. Or a sniveling, screaming, shrieking freak of nature.
Hi, my name is Carolynn...I am a Bi-Polar Handler.
When I am calm, cool, quiet and nice - we have a nice run. I am happy, my dog is happy. All is right in the world even if we completely sucked.
When I am a sniveling, shrieking freak of nature - my dog runs like crap, I feel like crap and our scores are crap. When our scores are not crap I am ashamed and feel like my crappy handling didn't deserve a decent score and want to crawl into my crap filled hole. A self fulfilling crappy prophecy.
I feel like I am finally learning how to find a spot somewhere in the middle.
On Saturday when I ran Brynn in Ranch, it was better than in the past. I am learning why I fall apart when I am running her. She is a lot of dog. She is FAST, strong and very very very good and I am scared to death of her. My mind does not move as fast as she does. Things go wrong on the outrun, I fall back on corrections that did not work in training. On the drive I give her the wrong flank, she takes it and I start yelling "NO". She tries harder, runs faster, trying to please me...I get more and more frantic. Things deteriorate and I feel dumber and dumber. I want to die. I telegraph every one of these emotions to my dog through my voice, the timber of my commands, my escalating shrieks. Brynn placed 8th in the class.
On Saturday when I ran Beth in the Ranch class, things were calm, cool, and fun. She listened to every command I gave her. She ran happily, effortlessly and I felt confident & relaxed. With that run we got 3rd place in the ranch class. I was very happy!
On Sunday during a lesson Dianne pointed out to me that I shriek & bark commands at Brynn. It went like this...
Me: "Away"
DD: "Why are you barking that at her, try it again."
Me: "Awaaaay."
DD: Ouch, that sounds like a correction. Try not to make it so harsh. Use your whistle.
Me: Whistling Away.
DD: What was that?
Me: My away whistle
DD: Try it again
ME: Whistle Away
DD: "She is right there, there is no need to make her ears bleed".
Me: Verbal"Awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy"
DD: That is giving me a head ache - can you imagine how she feels?
Me: verbal, softer Aaaaawayyyyyyyy
DD: Wow, that just told her to give you a BIG away flank...if you want a short one, shorten it up a bit.
Me: Away!
DD: Barking again! The command needs to be monotone, soft. The corrections are harsh, not the flanks. Try it again
Me: Away
DD: No
Me: I can't hear myself...I am trying!
DD: try harder
Me: Away
DD: NO!
Me: Does it really sound that bad?
DD: YES! You sound really angry!
Me: I am not angry!
DD: You are scaring ME!
Me: I dont mean to!
DD: Try it again, this time SOFTER!
Me: Aaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy (sing song)
DD: There you go..see her take that flank....now correct her she sliced it...get after her.
Me: Brynn! You get out of that! (with requisite scottish accent)
DD: Better! Give her a flank again, but don't take the tone from the correction into the command
Me: Away...
DD: You are Barking Again! Lighten up! Think of the way you say "Come Bye" you say that so nicely...say Away the same way.
Me: I can't
DD: Say it
Me; I am too fat
DD: *Sigh* Say it !
Me: softly, nicely....Away
DD: See! Look at that flank! The commands need to be monotone, soft and reassuring. Do not shriek your flanks - you can shriek your correction, but then it is OVER. Dont bring the correction into the command.
Me: I am stupid
DD: She will work for you regardless.
The gist of it. Brynn scares me. I still have not gotten through my head that I do not need to control her every move on the field. I need to make my corrections count, leave anger out of it. When the correction is done, drop it. Move on. Make the command inviting - not a demand. I need to remember that my dog wants to please me & I need to give her the correct information so she can do that...instead of turning it into a fight.
I asked Dianne why she thought I did so much better with Beth. "You didn't have any expectations. You had given up on her. You went out there relaxed & not expecting anything."
She was 100% right. Whatever Beth gave me I was going to be happy with. I didnt have any preconceived expectations. With Brynn, I did. My insecurities (ego) led the way.
Yep a humbling journey this is...but so addicting.
Hi my name is Carolynn, I am a recovering bi-polar masochistic handler. It is nice to meet you!
She always brings with her a hefty dose of humility.
I bring the humiliation all by myself.
My poor dogs would like to beat me with crook. I am sure Dianne has thought about employing that method of instruction a time or two as well. Death by herding instructor; my guess it would be a bludgeoning. Well deserved I am sure.
I have not been working Beth much lately. When I do work her, it is for chores & close up work only. The work she has done with me I insist on her doing it correctly with very little pressure. On Thursday I worked her with Dianne, it was like I had a new dog. I thought it was because Dianne was on the field & Beth was scared of her. Beth has a history of acting like the perfect little angel with a instructor (Patrick, Karen Child or Scott Glen) on the field - then later with me morphs into a ripping wool shredding freak of nature. With Dianne, Beth did everything I asked. We had this magical herding vibe going on. She even did inside flanks without looking like she was being drug through a fiery pit of hell.
Dianne told me it was beautiful. There was nothing she had to say, my handling had improved with her, my timing was pert near perfect. Words I never thought I would hear. I smiled with joy. Then remembered our session with Brynn earlier - that brought me back to earth - like a lead balloon.
A few weeks ago I wrote that I was done trialing Beth. She has gone as far as she will go and it just wasnt worth the frustration. I lied. The truth is, I signed her up for the trial last weekend so John could run her - because I had given up on her. Alas, John told me his heart wasn't into working the dogs and he had to work - he volunteered for overtime at work - sending a strong message to me I did not miss. That poor misguided man, choosing to work and make money over working dogs on sheep? I just don't get it, but I am happy he is making the money for me to spend.
Where was I? Oh yeah...the trial.
Anyone who has seen me run a dog at a trial knows it will go in one of two directions. Calm, cool, quiet and nice. Or a sniveling, screaming, shrieking freak of nature.
Hi, my name is Carolynn...I am a Bi-Polar Handler.
When I am calm, cool, quiet and nice - we have a nice run. I am happy, my dog is happy. All is right in the world even if we completely sucked.
When I am a sniveling, shrieking freak of nature - my dog runs like crap, I feel like crap and our scores are crap. When our scores are not crap I am ashamed and feel like my crappy handling didn't deserve a decent score and want to crawl into my crap filled hole. A self fulfilling crappy prophecy.
I feel like I am finally learning how to find a spot somewhere in the middle.
On Saturday when I ran Brynn in Ranch, it was better than in the past. I am learning why I fall apart when I am running her. She is a lot of dog. She is FAST, strong and very very very good and I am scared to death of her. My mind does not move as fast as she does. Things go wrong on the outrun, I fall back on corrections that did not work in training. On the drive I give her the wrong flank, she takes it and I start yelling "NO". She tries harder, runs faster, trying to please me...I get more and more frantic. Things deteriorate and I feel dumber and dumber. I want to die. I telegraph every one of these emotions to my dog through my voice, the timber of my commands, my escalating shrieks. Brynn placed 8th in the class.
On Saturday when I ran Beth in the Ranch class, things were calm, cool, and fun. She listened to every command I gave her. She ran happily, effortlessly and I felt confident & relaxed. With that run we got 3rd place in the ranch class. I was very happy!
On Sunday during a lesson Dianne pointed out to me that I shriek & bark commands at Brynn. It went like this...
Me: "Away"
DD: "Why are you barking that at her, try it again."
Me: "Awaaaay."
DD: Ouch, that sounds like a correction. Try not to make it so harsh. Use your whistle.
Me: Whistling Away.
DD: What was that?
Me: My away whistle
DD: Try it again
ME: Whistle Away
DD: "She is right there, there is no need to make her ears bleed".
Me: Verbal"Awaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyy"
DD: That is giving me a head ache - can you imagine how she feels?
Me: verbal, softer Aaaaawayyyyyyyy
DD: Wow, that just told her to give you a BIG away flank...if you want a short one, shorten it up a bit.
Me: Away!
DD: Barking again! The command needs to be monotone, soft. The corrections are harsh, not the flanks. Try it again
Me: Away
DD: No
Me: I can't hear myself...I am trying!
DD: try harder
Me: Away
DD: NO!
Me: Does it really sound that bad?
DD: YES! You sound really angry!
Me: I am not angry!
DD: You are scaring ME!
Me: I dont mean to!
DD: Try it again, this time SOFTER!
Me: Aaaaaaaawaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy (sing song)
DD: There you go..see her take that flank....now correct her she sliced it...get after her.
Me: Brynn! You get out of that! (with requisite scottish accent)
DD: Better! Give her a flank again, but don't take the tone from the correction into the command
Me: Away...
DD: You are Barking Again! Lighten up! Think of the way you say "Come Bye" you say that so nicely...say Away the same way.
Me: I can't
DD: Say it
Me; I am too fat
DD: *Sigh* Say it !
Me: softly, nicely....Away
DD: See! Look at that flank! The commands need to be monotone, soft and reassuring. Do not shriek your flanks - you can shriek your correction, but then it is OVER. Dont bring the correction into the command.
Me: I am stupid
DD: She will work for you regardless.
The gist of it. Brynn scares me. I still have not gotten through my head that I do not need to control her every move on the field. I need to make my corrections count, leave anger out of it. When the correction is done, drop it. Move on. Make the command inviting - not a demand. I need to remember that my dog wants to please me & I need to give her the correct information so she can do that...instead of turning it into a fight.
I asked Dianne why she thought I did so much better with Beth. "You didn't have any expectations. You had given up on her. You went out there relaxed & not expecting anything."
She was 100% right. Whatever Beth gave me I was going to be happy with. I didnt have any preconceived expectations. With Brynn, I did. My insecurities (ego) led the way.
Yep a humbling journey this is...but so addicting.
Hi my name is Carolynn, I am a recovering bi-polar masochistic handler. It is nice to meet you!
6 comments:
Great post - thanks for making my morning and you aren't the only one with the bi-polar dog trainer issues! :)
Excellent post.
I am a Control Freak in re-hab.
What a great post!! Sage and I just started agility training so it'll be interesting to see how it goes.
Are you sure you and I are not one and the same person?
Excellent post!
Hope you all are still having fun out there!
Me: I am stupid
DD: She will work for you regardless.
So true, she will. She'll keep trying as long as you keep asking. Dogs rock.
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