Ranger's Bubble Nightmare

Camera Face: Come Ranger...lets have some fun!

Ranger: Whatcha want to do?  Do I get treats? 

Camera Face: Yes, Ranger you get lots of treats...all you have to do is sit still while we blow these bubbles all around you.  You can catch them if you want!   

Ranger: I dont know about this...are you sure they wont hurt me?

Camera Face:  I promise Ranger, they will not hurt.  They are just silly little bubbles.

Ranger:  Okay, I will try this.  But if they hurt...I may hate you forever. 

Camera Face:  Lets start!  Sit, Ranger, Sit! 

Ranger: I dont know about this....one just popped on my nose.  That tastes yucky!

Ranger:  What?  More?  I don't know about this...

Camera Face:  Ranger will you please grow a pair?  

Ranger: I did, you stole them.  

Camera Face:  Sigh...

Ranger: You are abusing me.  I am going to tell. 

Camera Face:  Really?  Who you going to tell?  

Ranger:  I am going to call the Dog Protective Agency.  DPS will put you in jail for abusing me! 

Camera Face:  Sadly, there is no such thing as DPS.  

Ranger: I have teeth.

Camera Face:  Ranger, stop it.  

Ranger:  It is gonna poke my eye out!  I WILL BE BLINDED! It will be all YOUR FAULT!

Camera Face:  Want another yummy salmon treat?  

Ranger: Give me the whole bag?

Camera Face:  You can have one....maybe three.  

Ranger:  Screw that....Give me the whole bag AND let me sleep on the bed tonight! 

Camera Face:  You cant have the whole bag, you will throw up.  

Ranger:  Okay, half the bag, and I sleep on the bed for a week!  

Camera Face:  Ranger, after you eat these salmon treats you fart too much.  I would die in my sleep.  

Ranger:  You hurt my feelings. 

Camera Face:  Drama Queen

Ranger: I hate you.  

Camera Face:  Sigh.  

Ranger:  I don't like this game.  

Camera Face:  I am sorry

Ranger: There is no apology big enough to heal the giant gaping hole I have in my heart.  

Camera Face:  Ranger, you do not play well with others.  

Ranger:  Later, you evil bubble biatch. 

***CRICKETS***

Bonnie:  Ranger is an idiot.  I love bubbles, and salmon treats and bubbles, and salmon treats and you! 

Camera Face:  I love you too Bonnie.  It is refreshing to have such a happy positive attitude to work with!  

Bonnie:  Can I ask a question?  

Camera Face:  Sure what? 

Bonnie:  Can I sleep on the bed tonight?  

Secret in the Daisies

Oh HI!  My name is Secret.  I am a puppy.  My momma Jeanne got me from the Helsley Ranch in Idaho. 

I live with two boring boys, Moses & Rocky.  They dont know it yet, but they is in trouble.  

I am gonna rock their world...  Just sayin'

Wanna play ball with me?  

Catch!

I like to toss my ball all by myself.  

Then catch it 'fore it 'scapes

Balls are bad, they like to 'scape.  My job is to keep them from doin' that.  

I like to throw balls in the water. 

I'm so smart.  My mom says she is gonna be in trouble when I am older. 

When the ball is floating...I give it the 'eye'.   Or it will try to get away from me.

See!  Did you see that?  It tried to 'scape again!

 

You are not 'scapin' me you bad old ball!

OOPS!  

Splash!

I meant to do that. 

I needed to learn how to get out of the water trough anyway.  

What are those?  Balls with legs?

Wait Ma!  Where are you going?  Did you see the SHEEP?

What are these?  They smell funny....

Ma, did you see me?  I smelled the flowers.  

I can still see the sheep...look...out there! 

Do you see them too?  

I think I'm supposed to do sumtin' with those sheep when I get older...

I can't wait. 

I am gonna be the best sheepdog ever.  You'll see...I'll show ya. 

Big Flock Work & Sprinklers: What Do They Think?

Have you ever wondered what border collie's think while they are working or playing?

Wonder no more...thanks to a new iPhone app called Doggie Talk.  "Using a patented technology that measures and analyzes a combination of vocalizations, sub-vocalizations, and brain wave patterns, Doggie Talk is able to statistically and accurately perform translations into human language that pet owners can understand.  ***10% of Doggie Talk developer proceeds will be donated to no-kill animal shelters"

I do not have an iPhone so I had to rely on my incredible intuitive powers of dog mind reading. 

"lots of sheep, go through gate, hope stupid woman  stays out of way"

"run faster run faster, ignore the woman screaming"

"look sheep, wait....sprinklers, sheep, sprinklers, sheep, sprinklers....so confused!"

"stop straggling you dumb lambs, get up there"

"what are you talking about? what do you mean I cant bite their ass?"

"why cant these stupid sheep stay together"

"got them up there, now what?"

'what dont you understand about GO THROUGH THE GATE?"

"so, lady....what is it?  Come bye, away, stand, lie down, get back?  shut up and let me do my job."

"a little help here ...you screwed me up and now they are picking on me.  damn romneys"

'bout time you got up here, you want I should do this by myself? srsly?"

"why dont you go to the car and let me work.  you are slow."

"all done with the sheep.  time to cool off!"

"Holy sheep crap!....its the GREAT SPRINKLER!"

"up.so.high.must.catch.it!"

"SO TALL!"

"omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg"

"biggest sprinkler ever, fear me, i will eat you"

"omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg"

"so happy, tired, happy, tired, happy, tired"

Why I love Dogs

I am not a people person.  People confuse me.

Perhaps it is a lack of social skills on my part?  I don't know.   I do know I make the mistake of trusting everyone and have been hurt more times than I care to remember.  Regardless, I believe that all people are essentially good. 

In this journey with my dogs I have been learning so much about myself.  How do I react to stress?  Why am I yelling at my dog?  What is really going on?   What are my perceptions?

My friend Cindy & I have been reading a book called "Nine Secrets of Perfect Horsemanship" by Don Blazer.  This book is not just about Horsemanship - it is about life.  The 'secrets' in this book can be translated to handling dogs and your everyday life.  Last night we were talking about a situation with another person that has been particularly painful and frustrating for me.   Cindy brought up several things from this book that I can apply to this situation.  One that stuck in my mind:

The Third Secret

Practice non-judgment:  It is not for you to judge whether any thought or action is wrong or right, is good or bad, is joyous or sad. Every event will produce emotions.  The emotion must be recognized, experienced and accepted, but not judged.

 Each event simply "is."   You must see it for that and nothing more.

 Do not label, name or take a viewpoint about any event.  View everything as simply an event from which to learn, the source of emotions to be experienced, a moment in the process of moving toward your perfection.

Our perception is our reality.  As humans we judge.  We judge ourselves, our dogs, other people & their behavior.   Our perception of their behavior is a judgment of sorts.

I believe in communication to resolve conflict..  Communication between individuals helps breach any misunderstanding, overcome erroneous perceptions.  The only way you can resolve something is to talk honestly and openly about something rather than stew on it.  If you have perceived something incorrect - only through communication will you be able to understand the other person.  Anything else is cruel and counter productive.

If your dog is on the field and does something wrong with the sheep - he is not doing it to hurt you, or be disobedient.  He is only trying to please you. It is our perception of the situation that governs our reaction to it.  

Perception is Reality

Dogs are not vindictive, they are honest. They do not spread hurtful gossip.  Oppositional defiance is not in our dog's character.  They do not lie, cheat or steal (unless it is a really yummy bone, then that is up for grabs)!   If your dog loves you - he loves you.  You dog does not suddenly change it's mind one day, and decide they don't like you anymore.  People do. I have received more bites from people than I ever have from a dog.

Too often my experiences with people pollute work with my dogs. 

When my dog ignores me on the field, grips, takes the wrong flank, or does something else to frustrate me  I need to remember - It is, what it is.    They are not deliberately trying to frustrate me. 

Instead of reacting:  1.  I need to think, act and move slowly, deliberately.
                               2. Shorten things up, make it smaller - closer so I can better help my dog succeed. 
                               3.  Most importantly:  Make NO criticism of myself or my dog. 
                               4.  I need to accept myself and my dog without judgment. 
                           
It is, what it is.

Remember that saying we all learned in grade school "If you ASSUME you make an ASS out of U and ME?"  Many times on the field I am assuming my dog is being disobedient when she is not.  My perception is clouded by my life experiences.  I assume that my dog's behavior is similar to that of a person.  How very wrong I am.

Dogs are not negative, or judgmental

They are joyful

A dog's happiness is effervescent

Contagious

Simple Bliss

They experience every second of life

A dog is perfection exemplified

A dog can bring peace to a wounded soul

We can learn so much from life with a dog - if you listen with your heart. 

You have the power within to accomplish anything and if you follow your heart you will always know the right thing to do.  This, however, does not mean you will always enjoy perfect days, blue skies, bright sunshine and smiling faces.  No, your destiny is to experience everything so you will recognize perfection.
 

To know joy, you must know sadness, to know winning, there must be losing.  Peace is only possible if you know chaos and relief only comes after the pain.

~ Don Blazer